While most people dread getting sales calls, I've always welcomed them. Enjoyed them, actually.

What? What kind of weirdo am I?

Well, as a sales scientist, I look at almost every human interaction as a sales situation. (It sometimes annoys the people I’m with. Whatever.)

And the sales calls I get have been some of the best lab experiments I've ever had.

I'm always learning, testing, exploring, trying to understand what works, what doesn't, and why. Every call is data.

And it never ceases to amaze me how many of these reps have no idea who I am or what I do. Or that they might end up getting written about. Or getting their actual calls posted.

This week's Big Lesson came from one of those calls.

It's about a question you've probably heard in a training program or read in a sales book.

Sounds smart in theory. Sounds consultative. But in the real world, it can quietly sqaush your sale.

A bank rep called me and went straight into his pitch. During one of his breaths I stopped him.

I was in a bit of a hurry, so I said,"Look, I've got a great relationship with my banker and I'm pretty satisfied."

Then he replied with a technique you've probably heard before:

"What do you like best about them?"

The moment he asked that, here's what immediately started running through my head:

The many years I've been with my banker.
How he's structured several very good deals for me, both business and personal.
How he's always available or calls back quickly whenever I have a question.
How he's had erroneous charges removed from my statements, including a few that were clearly our fault, simply because he wanted to keep the relationship strong.

Now let me ask you, are those the kinds of thoughts and emotions you want someone experiencing about another vendor while you're trying to sell against them?

I've heard this same thing happen on calls I've reviewed.

A prospect says they're happy with who they're using. The rep asks what they like best. And suddenly the prospect lights up.

"They're great." "I trust them." "They always deliver." "They've been really good to us."

At that point, the sale isn't just slipping away.

You just helped cement their relationship with your competitor.

You know what this question is like?

"Well… he's smart, funny, successful, really listens to me, makes me laugh, and always makes me feel important."

Congratulations, Romeo. You just helped strengthen her current relationship.

That's essentially what sales reps do when they ask prospects what they love about their current vendor.

The logic behind this technique sounds reasonable on the surface.

"Well, if they tell me what they like, I can explain how we do the same thing and even more."

Yeah. Good luck with that.

Because now the prospect is emotionally anchored to all the positive experiences they've had with the current vendor. And your response usually boils down to:

"Oh yeah, we do that too."

Not a compelling argument to change something that not only is not broken. The positives have just been highlighted.

No proof. No emotional connection. No shift in thinking. Just another salesperson making claims.

Don't ask them to reinforce why they should stay. Ask questions that get them thinking about what could be better.

Things like:

"What do you do in situations where [describe a problem their vendor likely doesn't solve, but you do]?"

This one is powerful because it gets them thinking specifically about an issue they've very likely experienced, but may not have consciously framed as a problem yet. Once they start talking about it, you can expand on it and show exactly how you help fix it.

(We cover this in detail in the Smart Calling College training, and students come up with some incredibly effective versions of this question for their own specific situations.)

Those questions move them away from defending the status quo and toward imagining something better.

And that's where opportunities come from.

Because, really, if there's no perceived gap, there's no reason to even talk about changing, is there?

Get them thinking about what's missing. Not what's working.

That's where your opportunity lives.

Coming Next Week

Next week I'm going to share the four areas where superstar sales pros excel, and why most salespeople only possess one or two of them.

If you've ever wondered why you have good days and bad days, or why training never seems to fully stick, this is the answer.

I'll also be opening applications for my highest level coaching and training program. It's the only one where members get regular personal access to me. It's application-only, spots are limited, and I'll share all the details next week.

More to come.

(Originally published June 2011)

I was chatting with a friend, Barb, who handles collections for a trucking company. When she started, she inherited a nightmare. One client was over 300 days past due, owing more than $200,000.

The people at that company were evasive and uncooperative. They had even threatened to physically throw out the owner of the trucking firm when he showed up demanding payment.

Barb took a different approach. She did some research to learn about the head of Accounts Payable. Then she called her directly. She didn't call to badger her for the money. She called to introduce herself and ask questions about the payables clerk as a person.

Then she asked for an appointment.

Barb arrived with a small gift basket of personal items she knew the clerk would enjoy based on their conversation. During the meeting, Barb didn't talk about invoices. She learned about the woman's family, her job, and her interests. She followed up with another friendly visit a week later.

The result? That payables clerk went to the owners of the company and personally asked them to start whittling away that debt. It was ultimately paid in full. Today, Barb stops by that office every week on her way to work to see her friend. And there is always a check waiting to cover the previous week's invoice.

There was no high-tech wizardry involved here. Just old-fashioned personal touch.

In a world where we talk about "opportunity management," "sales funnels," and "pipelines," how often are we forgetting the PEOPLE who actually make the decisions?

Mastery Note — Why This Hits Harder in 2026

When I first shared Barb's story fifteen years ago, "automated outreach" was just getting started. Today, your prospects are being hammered by AI bots that can scrape their LinkedIn profile and write a "personalized" email in three seconds.

Everyone sees through it. It's digital noise.

Because the world has gone so far toward automation, the human touch has become a massive differentiator. When everyone else is sending optimized sequences and scripted follow-ups, the person who actually picks up the phone, remembers a detail about a prospect's family, or shows up with something genuinely thoughtful doesn't just stand out.

They're practically alone in the room.

The irony is that AI should be making this easier, not replacing it. Use it to do your research faster, prepare smarter, and free up time.

Then pick up the phone and be a human being.

The phone is still the most powerful tech sales tool ever invented.

Want a great source of new leads that most salespeople completely overlook?

They're already in your database.

They're the ones you didn't get.

Think about it. You spent real time on these people. You had conversations. You learned their situation, their concerns, their buying process. They know who you are. You know who they are. There's already a baseline of familiarity and comfort that you had to earn from scratch with every other prospect on your list.

And here's what else you know about them — they buy what you sell. They were real opportunities. They didn't say no to you personally. They said yes to someone else at that particular moment in time.

Moments change.

Vendors disappoint. Promises don't get kept. Prices go up. Service slips. The rep they liked leaves the company. The contract comes up for renewal. Something shifts — and suddenly the decision they made a year ago isn't looking quite as solid as it did when they made it.

You want to be the first call they think of when that happens. And the only way to be that call is to still be in the conversation.

So here's what to do.

Scan your database and pull out the ten to twenty biggest sales you really wanted, worked hard for, and did not get within the past year. Then call them.

But please, do not call and say "I'm just calling to touch base."

That phrase is the fastest way to signal that you have no real reason to be calling and no real value to offer. It wastes their time and yours.

Instead, review your notes. Remind yourself what they cared about, what they were concerned with, what was important to them when you last spoke. Then develop a genuine, value-added reason for reaching out — something specific to them, not a generic check-in.

Something like:

"I came across some interesting information in Info Industry Journal and remembered how concerned you were about external data security in a multi-user environment. I wanted to pass that along to you."

That one sentence does three things simultaneously. It shows you remembered something specific about their situation. It demonstrates that you're paying attention to their industry. And it gives them a real reason to stay on the phone with you.

From there you ease naturally into a conversation about where things stand today. You might uncover a dissatisfaction with whoever they chose. You might find a new opportunity that didn't exist when you last spoke. You might learn something that positions you perfectly for when their current situation changes.

Or you might simply remind them that you're still here, still paying attention, and still worth talking to.

Any of those outcomes is worth the call.

The sale you didn't get isn't a closed door. It's a relationship that just hasn't found its moment yet.

Go find out if the moment has arrived.

OK, one more and I'm outta here.

I saw another one of those "Here are the best cold call openers that actually work" posts on LinkedIn. I thought it might have some promise, since the guy started with: "Most cold call opening advice on here is crap. I've made 10,000 cold calls and here is what works…"

Then he went on to list the same gimmicky, permission-begging, resistance-triggering lines that somehow keep getting recycled as "popular":

"I'll be upfront, this is a cold call, so don't hate me…"

"If I told you this is a cold call, would you want to smash your phone against the wall?"

Credibility through call volume doesn't impress me.

I've made over 20,000 golf swings over the past five years. And trust me on this one:
no one should be taking my swing advice. Especially with the irons.

Volume doesn't equal expertise. It just means you've done something a lot.

But you can take my advice on how to Smart Call, not cold call.

If you prospect for new business and want to spark more interest and minimize resistance, I've updated my time-tested, proven Smart Calling process and put it into a masterclass. You'll create your own openings and voicemails that get people leaning in, wanting to hear more from someone they perceive as an authority, not as a desperate, goofy, insecure salesperson.

It'll be the best $37 you'll invest. Get instant access at http://First20Seconds.com

Go make it your best week ever!