I received a cold email from a guy who does branding and websites for speakers and authors.
It was NOT AI slop. Actually, it was highly personalized to me.
But it still was a fail.
He wrote that he was doing a website audit of top sales speakers and authors and, lucky me, it was my turn. That was his attempt at humor, I guess.
He then listed about ten things that were wrong with my homepage.
Now, I tried to be objective. I'll admit, I even agreed with a couple of his points.
But that didn't matter.
Because something else was going on in my brain.
This guy, whom I had never heard of before, with zero credibility with me, had just walked up to me and essentially said:
"Art, your baby is ugly."
And then, after telling me everything that was wrong with my site, he finished with:
"Please call me at..."
Sure. Because nothing makes you want to hire a complete stranger quite like having him tell you everything you're doing wrong.
And here's the interesting part. Some of his advice might have actually been good. But by the time I got to it, it didn't matter. Because his approach had already created resistance.
And that's where there's a huge sales lesson for all of us.
Being Right Doesn't Mean They Want to Hear It
One of the biggest mistakes salespeople make when prospecting is believing that if they can spot a problem, they should immediately call it out.
After all, isn't that what selling is about? Find problems. Solve problems. Sales 101.
Yeah, but there's a huge difference between helping someone recognize a problem and TELLING them they're doing something wrong.
Think about what happens when a stranger gives you unsolicited criticism. Your natural reaction usually isn't, "Wow, great point, tell me more."
Picture getting out of your car at the grocery store. A guy walking by points at your tires and says, "You probably could have done a better job parking." You glance down, and sure enough, you're right on the line. Don't know about you, but my first reaction wouldn't be, "Oh, thank you SO much for pointing that out. I'm getting back in and moving."
That's human nature. When someone we don't know or trust criticizes something we do, are, chose, created, bought, implemented, or are responsible for, we instinctively want to defend it. Even when the criticism might be valid.
The emotion blocks the logic.
(And actually, even with people we know, when offered unsolicited advice, the natural tendency is to get a bit defensive. Anyone here married? I digress.)
That's the problem with the "Your Baby Is Ugly" approach.
Don't Tell Them. HELP Them Discover It.
Your job in prospecting isn't to prove to someone that they have a problem. Your job is to create enough curiosity for them to want to explore whether there's something they could be doing better.
That's a very different approach. And it's at the heart of Smart Calling.
Before contacting a prospect, do your research and understand what problems they might have, what they might want to improve, or what results they might want to achieve. Then use that knowledge without insulting what they're already doing.
Here's what the website guy could have said to me instead:
"Art, I specialize in working with your peers who are top sales speakers, trainers, and authors, and have helped many take what was already a well-performing website and make some minor tweaks that provided big results in speaking inquiries and bookings.
In looking at yours, I've identified at least three possibilities, and there might be even more.
I'd like to ask you a few questions to see if you'd like to hear them."
That, I would have been open to.
Look at what that shift does.
He immediately anchors himself as a peer who gets my world, "I specialize in working with your peers..."
But more importantly, he flatters the thing I already built before he touches it, "...take what was already a well-performing website..." He's not calling my baby ugly. He's acknowledging I raised a solid kid, and maybe there's more in the tank.
Then he gives me the payoff, "...big results in speaking inquiries and bookings." Well, of course I'm interested in that.
And then comes the curiosity, "I've identified at least three possibilities, and there might be even more."
Now what am I thinking? What are the three? And if there are three, what else did he notice? He's created an open loop I naturally want closed.
Finally, instead of dumping his unsolicited advice on me, he asks to have a conversation.
That's the difference.
Curiosity Beats Criticism
This applies to almost every type of prospecting.
Maybe you believe their sales process is costing them opportunities. Their software is outdated. Their recruiting process is inefficient. Their insurance coverage has gaps. Their marketing isn't producing what it could. Their equipment is costing them too much to maintain.
You might be 100 % correct. Their baby IS ugly.
But if your opening essentially says, "Here's what you're doing wrong, and here's why we're better," you're creating the very resistance you then need to overcome.
Instead:
Establish credibility.
Suggest a desirable result.
Hint at what might be possible.
Create curiosity.
Then ask questions.
Let them participate in discovering the gap. Because people are much more receptive to a problem they recognize themselves than one a salesperson announces to them.
Remember: you don't need to tell prospects their baby is ugly. Help them see how their baby could get into TV commercials.
I covered this entire process, along with the full Smart Calling open framework, in one of our earlier issues: https://smartcallingreport.com/p/most-cold-call-openings-create-resistance-how-to-smart-call-open-instead
If you want to go deeper, with more examples and the full breakdown of how to open a call or an email so it creates curiosity instead of resistance, that's exactly what I cover in The First 20 Seconds Masterclass.
Go make it your best week ever?
