Last week I banned 26 words and phrases from professional sales. (Well, they should be anyway, in my opinion.)

Thanks to those who shared it.

And kudos to those who admitted using some (or most) of those phrases.

But here’s what I didn’t tell you last issue:

Those phrases aren’t the problem.

They’re symptoms.

The real problem is what’s happening inside your head
you open your mouth.

Let me explain.

Salespeople don’t say things like:

…just because they’re bad communicators (ok, maybe some are.)

They use them because the language regulates their own discomfort.

These phrases exist to make the seller feel safer, not to help the buyer.

Like they’re saying something, then quickly retreating for emotional cover.

Throwing a grenade, then running away so they are not harmed.

They:

But comfort for the seller creates discomfort for the buyer.

In other words:

Insecure thinking produces insecure language.
Insecure language produces resistance.

Here’s what happens the moment you say, “Sorry to bother you.”

You flip the status dynamic.

You just told the prospect:

And they respond accordingly.
Both consciously and subconsciously.

What the gurus who recommend this PBO (I call it Permission BEGGING Opening) language miss is this:

The brain makes well over 1,000 subconscious judgments in the first few hundred milliseconds about you and the situation.

That’s not conjecture.
That’s proven brain science.

Let that sink in for a few million milliseconds.

Buyers don’t lean toward uncertainty.
They resist it.

When you signal, “I’m not sure I should be here,”
they’ve already decided, “Yeah… you probably shouldn’t.”

That’s why apologetic language doesn’t just sound bad.

It creates the exact resistance you’re trying to avoid

So if you’re thinking, “Okay Art… fine. What DO I say instead?”

Glad you asked.

Here’s the twist: the solution isn’t just “say this instead.”

You wouldn’t get in shape because someone says, “Here, walk on this treadmill.”

It’s think differently before you dial.

Because when you have:

…the language changes automatically.

You don’t try to sound confident.

You are confident.

And confident people don’t ask permission to exist.
They show up with purpose.

Your Steps:

Before you speak or write, ask yourself three questions:

1) Do I have a specific reason to reach out?
Not “just following up.”
Not “it’s been a while.”

A real reason. Something changed. New information. A relevant insight. A specific observation about their business.

If you don’t have a reason, don’t make the call. Do more research until you do.

2) Do I know why this matters to them right now?
Not why you want to talk.
Why they would care.

What problem does this solve?
What opportunity does it create?
What decision does it inform?

If you can’t answer that, you’re not ready to call.

3) Am I trying to relieve MY discomfort, fear, and insecurity, or serve their interests?
This is the hard one.

If you’re calling because “I should follow up,” or “I need call volume” or “I don’t want them to forget me,” you’re treating  your anxiety, not creating value.

When you can answer all three questions, the banned phrases disappear on their own.

BEFORE (Regulating your own discomfort):

“Hi [Name], sorry to bother you. Is this a good time? I was just calling to check in and see if you had any thoughts on the proposal I sent last week. Was wondering if you needed anything else.”

What this reveals about your thinking:

AFTER (Clear preparation, specific intent, legitimate reason):

“Hi [Name], calling to continue our conversation from last week where you were looking to fix (problem.) Since we spoke last, I found benchmark data from two companies in your industry who solved the issue you mentioned. They reduced cycle time by 40% in Q1. Based on what you shared about your timeline, does that change how you’re prioritizing this?”

Same goal.

Completely different posture.

You don’t need 26 replacement phrases.

You need to change what you think about before you pick up the phone.

Ask yourself:

Answer those and the language takes care of itself.

If you’re reading this and thinking, “Yeah… I do this. I say these things. I know better, but in the moment I default back,” that’s exactly why I built the Smart Calling Prospecting and Sales coaching and training app for B2B professionals.

This isn’t more content.

It’s daily reinforcement, practice, and structure, so you don’t rely on willpower or memory when the pressure’s on.

After 40 years of personally training tens of thousands of sales reps, and having hundreds of thousands more consume my material, I know that the smaller percentage of those who actually transformed themselves had something in common:  they consistently put the material in practice. 

That’s where most training fails. Most sales training is a lecture; this is a lab where you actually speak and get coached. That’s what you get in this new, exciting development tool.

Calling it an app is a bit misleading, since it’s nothing like what you have on your phone. Inside it you’ll find:

At the very least, take two minutes to learn more about it here: http://Studio.com/Art

If you don’t have a new reason to call or email, don’t follow up yet. Do five minutes of research until you do. Follow-up without new value is self-soothing, not professional. One idea is to start the call with, “I’m calling to continue our conversation from two weeks ago where you had interest in ___, and I’ve got new information that could help you in that area.”

If your opener starts with sorry, hope, or just, stop and rewrite it. Professionals don’t apologize for being prepared and relevant. (See Issue #1 for the framework for interest-creating, professional Smart Call openings.)

Before you speak or write, ask: “Is this language here to help them…or to protect me?” That one question will eliminate most bad sales habits instantly.

Coming Next Week: If you’re saying, “But I say that and it works for me,” it’s probably killing your sales.

Hey, thank YOU so much for being with me here.

When I revived this newsletter, I had a strong feeling it would be well-received, based on my history and the conversations I’d been having.

What’s happened since has gone well beyond my expectations.

The response has confirmed something important: there’s a real need for practical, professional, no-nonsense sales guidance. And I’m grateful to everyone who’s been reading, responding, and spreading the word. You’re helping raise the standard of our profession. Let’s keep this movement going!

Who do you know who would benefit from the Smart Calling approach… maybe a friend, colleague, or someone newer to sales? Do them a favor and forward this email. They can subscribe at SmartCallingReport.com.

And if you got value from today’s issue, would you please share it on your socials? The newsletter platform makes it easy: just click one of the icons at the top and it’ll make it easy for you.

Go make it your best week ever!